Confidence is something that doesn’t always come naturally.

In my last blog post on this topic, I explain how changing your approach, power poses, breathing techniques can help build confidence in the short term.

And in this article I will be covering some of the habits you can build and actions you can take that will build your confidence over the long term, just like exercising a muscle makes that muscle stronger.

But before I get started, I have to say that one of the most useful habit changing resources I’ve come across is James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits (affiliate link).  Because in Atomic Habits, James walks you step by step through a science-based, proven framework that helps you change bad habits and build good habits that stick.

And I know I’m breaking a key rule of conversion copywriting here, but … if I was you, I’d leave this page right now and go buy Atomic Habits, then come back here and read the rest of the post while you’re waiting for it to arrive.   It’s so good that I have both the audiobook and the hardback. I’ve used what he teaches to make some really big changes to my daily routine, changes that have become embedded as good habits that make a difference in my life.

So while you’re waiting for your new book to arrive 😂 let’s talk about some things you can start doing now.

Develop These Confidence Building Habits

The Habit of Breaking Down Tasks into Smaller Steps 

If you’re working on something that feels huge or intimidating (like pitching) it will be so much easier to do if you break down the pitching process into smaller, manageable steps that can be done as a stand-alone step.

For example:

• Finding a publication that takes pitches (hint - our paid newsletter people have access to our constantly growing resource of publications taking pitches ... and you can, too).
• researching the publication to get a sense of the vibe and what they’re looking for 
• Turning your notes into a really rough first draft pitch
• Polishing your pitch
• Taking a deep breath and hitting send
• Scheduling followup emails 
• Sending those followup emails

Doing each step builds momentum.  And splitting them out like that makes the whole process seem not quite so overwhelming.

The Habit of Reframing Negative Thoughts 

It’s far too easy to let our brains droop down into negativity territory, which is not great.  Because if you don’t nip negative thinking in the bud, it can stop you in tracks and rob you … of momentum, of lessons learned, of success. 

And all because you’ve convinced yourself that you’re not good enough or not experienced enough, or who are you to think anyone would want to read what you’ve written, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam.  

Urgh.  Please pass the barf bag.  

I think you know what I’m talking about.  We all have negative, imposter-shaped thoughts.  All of us.  So it’s more a matter of figuring out how to deal with those thoughts, instead of beating ourselves up for having them.

The trick of course … and this is where mindfulness and habit building come in, is to first learn to recognise that your thoughts have gotten trapped in a negative mindset whirlpool (before you spiral down) and secondly to immediately take an action which will reset the focus and direction of your thoughts.

The one thing that I’ve found that really helps me is to reframe what I’m thinking.  Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m living in a parallel universe, trying to come up with a suitably positive reframe.  But it does help turn thoughts like "I’m not experienced enough" into "I’m learning so much every time I try and fail." 

The Habit of Celebrating Small Wins 

I have to confess that when I was working in corporate, celebrating small wins and successes was not something that pushed my buttons that much.  I tended to finish something and immediately move on to the next thing.

But the science is pretty clear on this one.  In ”The Power Of Small Wins”, a Harvard Business Review article, authors, Teresa M. Amabile and Stephen J. Kramer dive deep into what they call the progress principle.

“Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”

The way I think of it is that acknowledging a small win brings it to the front of your mind.  And by focusing on that small win in a mindful way, even just a quiet “woohoo” gives your brain a bit of an endorphin hit.  And I do so like endorphin hits 😂.

There are so many things that can be small wins.  It might be sending that tough email, or having that hard conversation about pricing, or submitting a really “out there” pitch.  Or even deliberately choosing to take a day off and have some dedicated “you” time.

The Habit of Learning from Rejection: 

Okay, so here’s the thing.  Do you seriously know ANYONE who got a great writing gig the first time they asked for one AND they’ve never been turned down since?

Nope?  Didn’t think so.

We all have to deal with rejection as writers.  So we might as well figure out how to reframe rejection into something more positive.  So that we can use each rejection as a learning tool rather than letting it eat away at our confidence. 

Recently, I’ve been thinking about adding a new type of writing service to my business.  So I started reaching out to people that I already had a working relationship with and who might reasonably want the service.  I told them that I was thinking about offering this new service and asked if they would be interested.

The result?  A handful of “no, thank you, we don’t need that" responses and a bunch of crickets from the rest (for those of you not familiar with that term, it means absolutely zero responses).  As in no replies at all. None. Zip. Nada.

And I’m delighted!  Why?

Because I’ve just saved myself a ton of wasted time and effort by NOT having to work on creating this new service.  Because if it’s not needed, there’s no point in creating it or trying to market it.  Now I can spend my time coming up with another, better idea.

The Habit of Seeking Feedback and Mentorship 

It can be a lonely life as a freelancer of any kind, let alone as a writer.  One of the best things I ever did was to join a handful of communities, full of people trying to do the same thing I do. 

It gives you a place to share, to ask questions, to seek help and give help.  All the things that make a community a great place to hang out.

And finding a mentor (either within this community or outside it) is vital to your long-term success.  Your mentor might be someone you talk to on a regular basis or it be a mix of books, podcasts and information you find online or on YouTube.  

Wherever you find someone who is ahead of you on the path to success, it’s always good to stop for a second and see whether they’re willing to share what they’ve learned from their own successes and failures.

Umm, Maybe The Habit of Faking It Till You Make It? 

I have to confess that I hate the saying “fake it until you make it”.  It seems so false.

It wasn’t until I started to think about it more deeply that I realised that it’s simply another way of saying “just get started.”  You’re going to be bad at it, but the only way you’ll get better is to keep doing it and doing it and doing it. 

Until suddenly, you realise that you actually DO know what you’re doing and can do it well.

The “Conscious Competence” model is super helpful in explaining how this works.  Basically as you try, try and try again, you go through four stages:

1. Unconscious incompetence - you don’t know what you don’t know
2. Conscious incompetence - you DO know what you don’t know
3. Conscious Competence - you know what you’re doing, but you have to really concentrate
4. Unconscious competence - it’s so easy for you to do that it’s like breathing and you can’t understand why other people find it so hard (or impossible) to do

I think the key point here is just keep trying and don’t give up.  You don’t have to claim to be an expert when you’re not, but you CAN legitimately say that you’re working towards becoming one.

The Habit of Creating Routines for Success: 

I’m pretty sure that I don’t have to say too much about how important it is to create routines that lead to success.  Like writing a set amount each day or sending one pitch a week or making yourself name all your files in such a way that you can find them again 10 years from now.  

I am, of course, assuming that you WILL be still writing 10 years from now.  Because these kinds of routines create structure and give a sense of accomplishment (small wins, anyone?), which helps confidence grow over time. 

And confidence breeds success.

The Habit of Continuous Learning and Improvement: 

It can be hard to know exactly where to spend your time learning new things and honing your skills because there is so much going on in the world right now.

But keeping up with trends and what’s happening is so important.  Especially for things like AI and the impact it’s having on writer and translator businesses.  

So trend-spotting and talking with others in your industry is a must-do.  So is going to conferences and summits (virtual or face-to-face), reading relevant articles and books and just generally keeping your finger on the pulse.

And if you can afford it, find courses that will help you upskill.  Courses like Steven Lewis’s Yes You! How To Convince And Convert High Value Clients With Magnetic Messaging or anything on how to use AI to automate your business processes and free up time for yourself.

The Habit of Using Affirmations or Journaling: 

There is one habit I’ve developed over the years of running my own business that has been enormously helpful.  And that has been to religiously plan my week every Monday morning. 

Then, at the end of each weekday, I take the time to write down and reflect on how things have gone that day.  I try to focus on the positive and celebrate those small wins.  But I’ll also use a not-so-smiley face to show when something’s not gone as planned or has gone off the rails.

Not only does this weekly planning and daily reporting help me stay on track, but when I’m feeling overwhelmed or bad about what seems to be slow progress, I can look back at previous weeks and see how far I’ve really come.  It’s a big help with mindset when my brain is spewing imposter syndrome rubbish all over the place.

Most successful business owners I know use something similar to my planning system or they write a daily journal about how things are going and how they are feeling. 

Some people swear by affirmations, but I find they don’t work as advertised for me.  Instead, just before I go to sleep I’ll silently think about 3-5 things that I’m grateful for, for that day.  Not only does that send me to sleep in a better mood, but it sets my unconscious mind up for a great next day.

Stay Patient with the Process 

And there you have it.  Creating good, confidence-building habits that stick is a long-term game that requires intentional effort.  There are a lot of things on this list, so don’t try to do them all at once.

In fact, I highly recommend that you pick just one and try that for a while.  You can either start with the one that interests you the most or you can go for the one that seems the easiest for you to get started with.  It doesn’t really matter. 

Just choose one and do it.

Most of all, remember to give yourself a bit of grace.  I find when I’m starting something new or doing something that requires new skills, it’s helpful to remind myself that everyone starts at zero (or as one person puts it “we all start at suck”).

And that if you want to develop confidence and new skills, the only way to do that is to "start at suck" ... start doing. And keep on doing and doing. Until one day, you realise you no longer suck at it, but you're actually pretty good.

And other people are asking you, with a trace of envy, how you do it so well.

So when you’re not feeling the confidence you need to take that next step or finish that next task, try a few of these confidence and habit building techniques.  You might just be amazed at how well they work.